We have all had our heart's broken. Sometimes it breaks just a little and the drip of sorrow slowly trickles throughout our life, infecting our relationships and robbing us of our joy. Sometimes in one clean swoop it is smashed to bits leaving you covered in debris. There is the momentary, merciful wave of numbness that leaves you dazed. Wondering what just happened.
Either way, it hurts.
It is a hurt that has a way of lingering, of creating hesitation and fear in our lives. It boldly builds walls to protect and fortify our being, safe from attack. Preparations are made, vigilance may set up camp and offensive strategies are carefully planned in our minds should a perceived threat confront us. Unfortunately, once our defenses are fully in place, and our battle lines drawn, the loneliness of isolation has a way of slowly setting in.
I'm not sure which hurts more. Being broken, or being alone.
I realized I did not like where I found myself and for years I tried to fix it, the result of which only created an even bigger mess. And then, God showed up. Or rather, I finally conceded that my plight was bigger than I could escape on my own and I grabbed a hold of the extended hand that had patiently been waiting for me.
God has been painstakingly removing brick after brick of fear, rejection, abandonment, and hurt in my life. Each step toward Him fills me with an ever increasing awe and star struck wonderment that this mighty, powerful, merciful Savior is rescuing me. I am discovering that his mercy has no boundaries, and that His love is wrapping me with a tender sweetness that is simply taking my breath away.
The God that I once so dreadfully feared, I am now falling deeply in love with. The God that I once ran and hide trembling from, I have turned to face and am now running to. I began this journey as a broken, dirty mess and He is ever so gently picking me up and helping me put all of the broken pieces together.
What was once lost, is being made new. I hope you will join me as God continues to unfold the path toward restoring his masterpieces!