I have been overwhelmed the past few weeks with more 'to do' items on my list than is humanly possible to accomplish. I have been longing for peace and stillness, longing for a contentment with life that, as of yet, has been elusive.
It feels like I have been running as hard as I can, for as long as I can, and that I have been missing what truly matters. I have been filling my life with tasks, and not relationship. Striving to accomplish, but finding that no matter what peak I mount it is never enough.
I have long been under the delusion of feeling I needed to accomplish something grand to be of significant. Racing to get to an imagined finish line only to discover that in reality, I'm on a hamster wheel where there is no end.
I am missing joy, I am missing fun, I am missing my children, I am missing God, and I am missing being able to fulfill the purpose I was created for.
It is time to stop running, I am weary and have no strength left. It is time to take shelter under the wings of my Almighty protector while the tornado of this life rages around me. It is time to start listening to the voice of the One who can make my crooked, bumpy path straight again.
In the stillness of my retreat I am realizing that despite being broken and weary, to God, I am enough just as I am. My presence is all that is required. When I am with Him, I am in the right place, doing the right thing, accomplishing all I need to accomplish. And with that awareness, comes relief. The glimmer of hope that had long faded within me, is being reborn.
I am so grateful that God never gives up on us, and that his mercy knows no end. I have needed it and am reveling in the mystery of His goodness.
For all that are weary, it is time to rest.
